Now that we have decided to bring Gabriel to China for stem cells treatment, I don’t know what to expect out of it. I am very anxious. Will there be a miracle? I had my little conversation with Whoever is out there, whose presence was very strong at that moment when I stumbled upon the stem cells facilities in China a couple of months ago, when I found the experiences of Tatyana and Shirdesh. It was as though He was trying to show me He was there and that He was trying to show me that miracle can happen.
However my logic has since settled back in. I am still apprehensive of miracles and keep my expectation in check. I don’t want to and I am afraid to expect too much. I don’t want to have the expection that Gabriel will be able to see after the treatment, as I am afraid of the disappointment. Gabriel is so delayed in his development. Not only he doesn’t take to spoon feeding and solid food, he doesn’t talk, he can’t walk.
My goal in China has been pretty much revised over a period of time. By the end of the treatment, I hope Gabriel will be a changed boy. Not the change in him on having vision. This is a subdued hope, a secret hope, a hope that is needed to be kept in check. The change that I am looking forward to is, he being a healthy normal blind boy – the hope that he will be walking, talking, communicating his thoughts in a proper understandable language, eating,… I am hoping to see a normal boy out of my dear blind little Gabby. I am wishing something inside Gabriel will finally click, wakes up and that he will begin behaving like a normal 3-year-old boy, will do what a 3-year-old would do, a boy who just happened not to be able to see.
Asty
astychow@yahoo.com