Mia’s PLS Blog

“tucked deep in our hearts, forever”

September 3rd, 2009

We are back into the swing of things as Noah has started school and our lives  have continued right where we left off back on June 5.  And although we are back in the routine of school and homework and housework and trips to the grocery store  and my many doctor appointments- we are different- both of us are changed.

My speech is unbelievably better- so much so that people are astounded at how good i sound- but Noah and aren’t.  My chiropractor, who i have seen every week for the past 3 years, is amazed at how well my muscles are responding to her adjustments and how little adjusting she has to do- but Noah and I are not.  My mom and several colleagues have told me that i seem to be walking better, that i walk more sure footed and with a straighter posture.  I have more energy and am making it through my days and nights with more energy. And in the mornings as we head to the car and i maneuver over the curb without any help from Noah- we are not amazed- because we know in our hearts that the trip we embarked on back on June 6th was God’s will for our lives.  We knew every time we were unsure of what we were facing- and wanted to come home that God was there holding us in the palm of his hand. 

I have said this before- our trip to China will be the hardest and the best thing we will ever do- and now, being home and back to our life- we realize that more then ever.  We were given a gift that most will never receive, because our experience in China was something that we will forever cherish- for so many reasons.  Yes- the best thing that is happening is i am getting better, and we are so thankful to the many nurses and doctors and Beike staff that made that possible- but we owe it to God- and we know that now.  We knew that He was not going to allow us to travel all that way, with so much hope in our hearts and not show us the love He has for us by not only healing  some of my muscles, but the healing our hearts. 

No one can really know what it has been like for Noah and i to live the life we were dealt- but that doesn’t matter anymore- it used to- we used to feel like we got the short end of the stick withno man in our home to be both father and husband- and then being diagnosed with a disease that was making it hard for me to be the strong parent that Noah needed.  But now that we are here- we are back in our lives- and we feel the presence of God’s miracles working not only in our lives, but in the lives of all of the beautiful people we met in China- we know that not only are we  blessed, but God’s will is at work in our lives because we have opened our hearts to it.  And we now know that- we are no longer the family that doesn’t have what we think we need- we have more- so much more- and it is because allowed God to work in our lives and journey to China.

This realization did not happen over night and when we were in China there were so many times i questioned what the i had gotten myself into, but it has become crystal clear to me now.  And none of it would have been possible if the people in our lives  wouldnt have wanted what we wanted- a better quality of life- and a renewed attitude.

This morning on the way to school i told Noah what my heart had been feeling since we returned home- i had not verbalized it to anyone, but this morning i told him what was tucked deep inside my heart.  I explained that i had this feeling, this ache, a realization that what we experienced was so monumental in our lives and how i knew we would most likely never see anyone of those people again- and certainly not all in one place.  And we would never have the feelings we had when we were there.  It is a sadness of sorts because it was such a beautiful experience- the sharing of lives and hope with so many wonderful families with the same dreams of a better life for themselves and their loved one.  And i told him that little part of my heart that remembers it all is always there- i always feel it and it brings me joy at times and sometimes sadness.  I miss everyone that i met on the part of my journey that landed me in Qingdao, China- and i will have those memories tucked deep in my heart forever.  After i was done telling Noah this i looked at him and with tears in his eyes he said, “Mom, i feel exactly the same way.”

Entry Filed under: pls,Uncategorized